Jesus Lives in My House

It’s 6:54 a.m. And I can see the sun.

It had not visited my window in such clarity in many days. But today — on the 1st of April — it came. Golden. Gentle. Unbothered. As if to say, “You made it.”

Most people wouldn’t notice such a thing. But I did. Because this light wasn’t just weather. It was a sign.

Letting Go

On the 1st of January, I decided it was time to walk away from a habit I had carried for a decade. I told God, “Take all of it — not just the pieces I’ve handed you before.”

I’ve always known He’s been the owner of my life. But if I’m being honest, I lived like I was in control. Like I owned my life and He was just managing it from time to time.

It doesn’t even make sense when I say it out loud. But I was living my own way. On the surface, things looked fine. But inside? I was drained. Something was missing.

That morning, while it was still dark, I stood by the window — the same window I’m looking out of today.

I held the last of it in my hands. The stash. The papers. The lighter.

The things I used to reach for when I was tired, anxious, or overwhelmed. But this time, I didn’t light it.

The same hands that used to roll up were now releasing. Throwing it all away. And as I did, I prayed. I cried. Not just for strength — but for a new beginning.

I asked God to take not just the tools — but the taste. The desire. The weight of the cycle I kept falling into.

I knew it wasn’t something He could do for me. It had to start with a choice. And that morning, I chose Him.

Don’t get me wrong — we all have different paths, and different reasons why we turn to certain things. But I knew, for me, it had to stop. I needed clarity. I needed peace. I needed a sound mind — not just to function, but to be fully present in the purpose God has for me.

I had done life with Him before… but this time, I wanted to go deeper. I couldn’t keep saying He was the owner of my life while still being ruled by my own desires. It became hard to pray. And when anxiety hit, I didn’t run to God — I ran to something else.

And the truth is… that became its own form of worship. But my God is a jealous God. He wanted all of me. And I wanted all of Him.

So I gave Him my full attention — and in return, He gave me Himself.

Then Came The Rain

The first quarter of the year tested me in ways I never imagined. I lost jobs. I lost money. I lost people dear to me. And I was tempted — over and over again — to run back to the comfort of the habit I promised to leave.

That thing that never brought peace, only more anxiety. But through the storm… I saw Him.

I saw Him in the smallest details. I saw Him when I cried. I saw Him when I opened my Bible to “random” pages — only to find words that felt handwritten for me. I felt Him in the silence. I saw Him when I was completely alone.

I saw the God who sees me. EL ROI.

A New Dawn

And today — 90 days clean — I woke up and saw the sun.

At exactly 6:54 a.m.

And I knew.
It wasn’t just another morning.
It was confirmation.
My light has come.
A new dawn is here.

Jesus Lives in My House

If you don’t believe it, just look at me.

Look at the girl who came back.
Look at the light breaking through her windows.
Look at the peace that no habit ever gave her.

You’ll see Him.

You’ll see Jesus.
Because now, more than ever…
Jesus lives in my house. And heaven is just a mile away from here